Tuesday, January 19, 2010

More kittens

You may well ask if this is a knittin' blog or a kitten blog!

I woke up this morning to a little squeaking surprise! We knew Cocoa was expecting but thought it was another week or two before she was due. Well she's had 2 kittens so far and i think that's probably all but time will tell.

Where have i been the past 6 to 18 months?

This a question I've spent a while trying to answer for myself. The past two years have been incredibly stressful and difficult. I'm very good (aren't we all!) at putting on a mask and pretending to the outside world that everything is ok. Also trying to ignore things by burying my head in lots of things and keeping busy. I'm not ready to talk about the issues i'm struggling with but those of you who know me well *know*. I've recently taken some 'time out' of life as everything caught up with me (slowly not in a dramatic way!). During this time i've learnt to listen to myself and am getting to know me a bit better. This is going to sound cliched ... i've worked on long term healing rather than surviving from one day to the next. This has meant slowly working thru and letting go of stuff so it doesn't have a hold on me anymore. This is a difficult and time consuming process as my mind is conditioned to 'space out' and run away from the really scary stuff in a process called dissociation which is accompanied by some really negative scary coping mechanisms. Anyway i finally feel like i've turned a corner and am ready to slowly re-engage with the outside world.

Where has the knitting gone?

Creativity and craft have played a huge part in my survival and will continue to do so in my onward journey. I have lots to show and tell ...

(to be continued ... going to spend some time with Cocoa ...)

1 comment:

Peeriemoot said...

Many congratulations to Cocoa! Hester and Toby are a testament to her mothering (you should hear the lovely things the vet said about them).

I'm so glad you feel you've turned a corner - here's to better things from now on :-)