OK I've officially given up on the green moss shawl. Wrong yarn and needle size. Need finer yarn than the laceweight alpaca and bigger needle than 4.5mm. However all the effort and frustration of getting the border right won't go to waste. I'll frog about 30 rows tonight (DH is working as a polling clerk at the elections so have a nice peaceful evening to myself) and then use the border and pattern to keep the increasing the same but use a more open lace pattern than the rosebud one, and I'll change to 5.5mm needles, hoping that the lower edge (knitted on 4.5mm) will behave on blocking.
Started swatching for the Shetland hap shawl last night. Just playing with different colour combinations for now.